


the damaged flowers

by halev_sheli



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: "Victoria" AU, AU, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - No Powers, Alternate Universe - Victorian, Angst, Drama & Romance, F/M, Grief/Mourning, Hurt/Comfort, King Zuko, Loneliness, Mai (Avatar)-Centric, Mutual Pining, No Beta, Politics, Prime minister Mai, Widow Mai, like the victorian era but mostly it's not, so i'm begging for mercy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-11
Updated: 2021-03-17
Packaged: 2021-03-17 16:09:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,183
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29968935
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/halev_sheli/pseuds/halev_sheli
Summary: AU where young Zuko ascended the throne and became the new King, and Mai is his Prime Minister.Inspired by the Victoria series (2016)
Relationships: Mai/Zuko (Avatar)
Comments: 7
Kudos: 14





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Although I ship Vicbert, Vicbourne has a special place in my heart. So their connection inspired me a lot. It's not about the UK, it's an alternate universe but in the Victorian Era atmosphere.
> 
> I guess Zuko is OOC, perhaps Mai too.  
> Zuko is 21. Mai is around 23-24.

It was the warm summer evening that had placed onto the whole estate. Somewhere in the gardens was singing a nightingale, the sweet smell of blooming jasmine trees was spreading under windows through the courtyard. Lady Mai was sitting at the correspondence in her study as she always did after dinner when she heard sounds from the outside. A few moments later a maid entered the room.

“A messenger, ma’am. From the Royal Palace,” she said quietly. “With a black armband on his right hand.”

Lady Mai sighed heavily and put down the pen. She’d known this day will come and even foresaw hard news, but doesn’t expect it so early. “Let him in.”

The messenger was indeed right from the palace; he held a letter with wax seal in his shaking hands. She only raised her eyebrows. “The King?”

“In the letter, ma’am,” he replied merely and gave her it. She waited patiently until he bowed and left the room, then broke the seal with a royal fire emblem. It was written barely half an hour ago that the King Iroh passed away this evening, breathed his last at ten minutes past seven. Lady Mai slightly winced and pressed her lips into a thin line, continuing reading. The king’s last will was to pass the throne to one of the royal siblings, his nephew Prince Zuko.

A wave of relief washed all over her tensed body when she saw the prince’s name, she re-read a letter again, more carefully and, postponing it, looked away for a few moments, thinking out her next step. Five minutes later a carriage from the estate went to the palace.

*******

The parliament thought the old king got crazy when he gave the position of the Prime Minister to such a young lady. But king Iroh I, no matter what, was a wise ruler who found out the most powerful allies in the most unexpected places. Lady Mai, the daughter of former Prime Minister Ukano and baroness Michi, despite young age and external fragility sensed politics better than any member from the House. Instead of playing with dolls and sewing she visited soirées and parliamentary sessions, instead of bedtime stories a governess read to her the constitution. Ukano trained her well, they admitted despite their critical views. With skills sharp as knife and demeanour tough as steel, she was leading the parliament even wiser than her late father. Her boundless loyalty to the monarch was intriguing the public. Her steadiness and impassiveness brought her the name of an Ice Lady; they barely endured her and were betting when she’ll fail, and still no one dared to prevent her. Though the old king always joked that he chose her only because she’s an excellent card games player. Lady Mai sighed, noticing the lights of the palace. The king always had seen in her more.

The young king Zuko was nothing that she has remembered about him. From those rare visits to Azulon’s palace in childhood, she had memorized the prince Zuko as a boy, kind and awkward and brave enough to resist his sister. Now she was met by a man, tall, well-built and breathtakingly beautiful even with the burned scar on the face left by his mad father.

“Your Majesty!” She bowed to him gracefully. “May I offer you my deepest condolences on the death of your Uncle?”

He stared at her concernedly for a few long moments, he looked like a ghost, pale, shocked and yearning. And then something had sparkled deep in his amber eyes, king Zuko looked at lady Mai almost as brightly and kindly as in their childhood.

He seemed genuinely confused by his new position, admitting that didn’t believe until the last that his poor uncle would prefer him to his prodigy sister Azula. He told her he was desperately wanting to get rid of his sister’s manipulations and her beloved advisor Long Feng. Lady Mai saw how much contradictory emotion boiling in him. But there was something else: an inner flame in his gaze, natural dignity that cannot be learnt in his posture, willing to try, to prove himself, to reach something great and valuable. She saw with what eagerness king Zuko desired to serve his nation and be a worthy successor to his uncle’s heritage. Even to her surprise she admitted for herself that it couldn't fail to impress her.

 _An idealist with a pure heart and unquestionable honour_ , as once the king Iroh replied when she was curious about the future successor to the throne. Now she was convinced, the old man chose right like always.

But the king was still inexperienced and not ready for rule, lady Mai knew quite well that they would underestimate him and expect him to fail just like they did with her, so she offered to act as his private secretary and advisor. He hesitated for a moment and then decided to try.

*******

As the days passed, the debate in the House became harder, through all the time to the coronation. Plenty of lords were all concerned by the lack of king’s preparations to rule, some insisted on giving a regency to prince Ozai, who was imprisoned for years by now. The Lady Prime Minister, however, hadn’t listened to them and was intended to defend the young king, reminded that it was king Iroh’s will and any violation would be considered treason.

At the beginning the new king didn’t trust her, which was wise, she thought, studied him as well. He still was in deep mourning by his uncle’s death and didn’t see a difference between allies and enemies. When he cautiously asked her about handing over power, Lady Mai replied calmly that she can easily do it, but the next applicant to the Prime Minister position is lord Zhao. The expression of pure disgust on king Zuko’s face was so amusing that it elicited a small smile on her lips.

After first successful meetings, where she’d stand behind his back and whisper the cues or minister’s names, he warmed up and apologised for his rudeness before. After first successful deals with farmers and colonies, which lady Mai mercifully advised to him, he thanked her as if she saved his life.

The king Zuko started to invite her to his morning walks and rides out. Most days lady Mai accompanied him to meetings and public appearances, nearly every night she dined at the palace, listening to his sincere compliments to her flower arrangements from her glasshouse. He was respecting her and treating as an equal; he was repeating that she was an excellent tutor, and he never dreamed about more. He was always so excited to see her, so happy, and called her no other than _Lady M _.__ Of course, tender attentiveness to her did not escape prying eyes. Members from the House called him a little boy, and whispered that she’s rather his nursemaid than a prime minister. Papers named him her puppy; ladies at the court were sure she bewitched him.

_“He seems almost besotted.”_

_“The king is so attached to her.”_

_“This fallen woman, she’ll ruin him and the monarchy as well.”_

_“Such a vicious scandal!”_

Gossip and ridiculous rumours never hurt lady Mai, nothing could shatter her confidence and stoic posture. Nothing, except king Zuko.

Mai couldn’t miss his soft smiles and pleading eyes directed at her, only for her, she couldn’t ignore his awkward tense in her presence and desire to be in her company even after the duties, she couldn’t avoid all his ardent _“I have missed you, Lady M”_ and _“You understand me like no one else.”_ That was flattering, and warm, and lighted up something inside her, but that also was wrong and forbidden, she couldn’t allow it to go further. Because when he stared at her so innocent, so sincerely, while she couldn’t help but blush and look away, something inside her was rising from the ashes. Something she spent a lifetime trying to forget; something she wished to make dead a long time ago, buried deep down inside her broken devastated soul and never ever to be restored.

From time to time His Majesty acted impulsively and hot-headed, overreacted to silly unimportant things, and she forced him to calm down and think straight.

“We will not accept this and even more will not sign anything offered by sir Long Feng. This time they’ll play by our rules,” lady Mai had said firmly, closing the conversation.

There were also days of mistakes, when papers slandered the king Zuko cruelly, and members from fractions yelled in the parliament that princess Azula could bring more victories and grace to the nation. Mai was exhausted after all those meetings and wanted no more than to live peacefully in her old estate and cared for flowers in the small glasshouse. But king Zuko has been needy to her, looked like a lost child, feeling the burden of the world at his shoulders, and she hated how her own heart ached for him. Mai wondered how she could be so careless to let him in so close, to give him power to chain up too tight around her heart.

“They are hovering about me all the time, Lady M,” his tone was small and frustrated. “What else could I do? And now… now everything is ruined.”

He was sitting at the piano in an empty old room, looking at his uncle’s portrait. Last incident with Lord Zhao had beaten them more than they could predict.

“It was not your fault, Sir.” She said quietly in a hopeless attempt to comfort him. It didn’t help, king Zuko turned away and closed his eyes as if he was ached. Lady Mai took a deep breath and sat beside him. “Did I ever tell you about my first parliament sessions, Sir?”

She told him a lot that day. How many failures she had at the beginning, how many mockeries and angriness she got because of her age and bloodline - all those things she'd never shared to any soul. It was scary - to break the walls, to open herself, to be vulnerable and weak, and _caring_ , but he needed it. He needed the confirmation that he’s not alone, not anymore; he needed hope that the sun of his rule will shine even more brightly and blind them all; he needed a friend who he can trust. Perhaps she needed it too.

"Through you I've been given a reason to continue. And you must do the same, Sir.” Mai whispered, squeezed his warm hand. “You must go out, and you must smile. You must smile and wave, and never let them know how hard it is to bear."

*******

Their another problem – the prodigy one – was far more serious and dangerous than Zhao. And there were bands of rebels from secret societies who demanded ‘justice’ and tried to start the revolution, furthermore nobles brought it in their conversations too.

“Why the long face, Your Majesty?” She asked one day during their morning walk.

“They all want her on the throne, Lady M.” He replied, stepped fiercely through the park. “Long Feng, Zhao, your uncle, the House, even my households Li and Lo,” Zuko chuckled bitterly. “And I know quite well, all of them hate me, but they have no right to insult my court and subjects. And... and insult you,” he said a little bit shyly, lowering his voice. “They think I should not always be guided by you.”

“Perhaps they’re right.”

“What do you mean?” He choked in surprise, stopped immediately.

“I should not be your only advisor, Sir. This time you should write to your uncle’s old friends I believe. The duke Piandao has full military support, they awe him as I know. For you that'll be a great relief, Sir. And maybe we could convince the viscount Jeong Jeoung to return to the parliament." Lady Mai gazed at him steadily.

King Zuko lightened up, for a moment Lady Mai was charmed by his smile. He was so young, so full of life and energy…and… and she was…

“Did I mention, how much I admire you, dear Lady M?” He asked softly, continuing to walk.

“Only twice a day, Sir.”

She knew she must end it — for her and his safety. She should not accept his compliments, not let him flatter her so easily, should not walk with him through the morning fog like with the dearest companion. She must leave only political business and respect by coldly cutting off all mutual unspoken affection. But the day was unusually bright, the glint of his amber eyes — beautiful and a smile on his lips — radiant, so she let herself stay a little longer in this perfect illusion. Because for the first time in many-many years, Mai has felt alive.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes I think that Zuko in this work is so softie. But then I remember his dorky smile from the last maiko scene in the cartoon and decide that's ok. He IS dork in love <3

Due to the king’s mourning, the coronation ball was rescheduled to the end of the summer. There had been expected important guests from other nations and last preparations in and around the palace were carried out with enormous fever. The date was set, invitations had been almost dispatched, and music approved after a few misunderstandings and screams personally from His Majesty.

Mai slowly passed the corridors and stopped at the entrance to the ballroom.

“Lady M!” The king has exclaimed at the moment he saw her, completely ignoring the steward of the household. “Thank goodness, you’re here! I was waiting for you all morning!”

“Sir?” She asked with wariness in her voice.

“Come on, Lady M. I’m sure we have a lot to discuss.” He said, while going from the ball room and walked her away to the north wing where the principal corridor and king’s office. “I’m so glad you’re here; these preparations have tired me already. I’d never expect the coronation ball to be so overwhelming,” Zuko chuckled and gave her a warm shining smile. “What took you so long, Lady M?”

Mai needed all her restraint to manage reply without any smile. “It’s a bill about taxes in provinces going through Parliament at the moment. It’ll take a lot of time while everyone agrees on the same option; sometimes the voting can take ages.”

“Oh, I see.” It sounded quite thoughtful. “Anything I can do about it? As King?”

“Only patient waiting, Sir. In the meantime, you can fully get ready for the ball.”

They reached his study. Without waiting for the guard's reaction, Zuko hastily opened the door and let the lady first.

“I must admit that I’m getting a little bit nervous because of all these ambassadors visiting, Lady M,” he said when the door was shut behind them, and they stayed alone. “They seem very interested in my reign, and evidently in my humble persona.”

“Of course, they are, Your Majesty. You are the king of the greatest nation on earth, the world will be watching.” His pale face and hesitant nod made her add, more softly. “Don’t worry, Sir. I am sure they all will see that you’ll bring great credit to the monarchy. Just don’t drink too much champagne or dance so often with the same partner.”

Zuko has smiled at her openly, somehow even dreamily and Mai quickly looked down to notes in her hands, avoiding his beaming gaze and wondered how many of his smiles she would bear before all her positions would surrender.

“Actually, Lady M, I wanted to show you the final list of guests. We tried to include all of the important diplomats. Hope you’ll approve of it.”

She narrowed at him, stunned and absolutely speechless not sure she’d heard things right. But the king held out the paper to her and waited eagerly, so after a moment Mai managed to say almost nonchalantly. “Excuse me, Sir, but I’m sure that it is not my current position to approve or not approve something outside the parliament. I believe that’s the job of your court and household, Sir.”

“You’re right as always, dear Lady M. That’s why I ask you as my friend, not as my Prime Minister.”

And this smile again, urging the sparkles in her heart crackled all over again and to spread a fluttering feeling in her stomach. She took the note with a sigh, pushing to the back of her mind the traitorous thought about how exactly this silly boy can be her end.

*******

After her husband’s death Lady Mai plunged into deep grief — she wore only black dresses, avoided balls and parties, and tried to refuse all types of celebrations. Nonetheless to the king Zuko’s first — coronation — ball she has decided to change direction and for the first time in three years to wear burgundy dress, adorning her dark hair with fire lilies. She would swear that whispers had stopped for a second when she entered the hall. Then they continued talking, predatorial staring at her when she was smoothly moving to the corner, paid no mind to their glares, only politely nodding to greetings from nobles.

“Lady Prime Minister!” Princess Azula has greeted her with her usual frightening smile. “It’s been a while.”

“Your Royal Highness!” Lady Mai curtseyed, resisting the urge to roll eyes. “It’s been indeed.”

“I believe the last time I’d seen you at my brother’s coronation. Although I expected from you a better taste than this pathetic failure which my brother is; he trembled like a leaf,” princess snorted barely audibly. 

“I think His Majesty seemed rather serene.” Mai replied coldly, trying not to fall into princess’s another trap.

“Oh, it’s humiliating, isn’t it? With such potential you can reach far more than babysitting poor Zuzu, Lady Prime Minister. I only don’t understand why. Why would you do it? You know the circumstances.”

“I guess you just don’t know people as well as you think you do,” Mai stayed impassive, already annoyed by Azula’s indulgent tone, "Your Royal Highness."

Princess Azula leaned forward, grinned a far more all-knowing smile than Mai wished to. “Maybe you should think better to which side you are truly loyal, Lady Prime Minister.”

Mai has desperately wanted to pin her to the wall with some knives. “I’m loyal only to the Crown, Your Royal Highness,” she said quietly, but yet steadily, not avoiding her gaze, meant exactly that – that she’d chose him and only him, and she’ll be always defending him no matter what others think she should do. “Now please forgive me, ma’am, I believe that lady Ty Lee has some issues with her braid.” Mai curtseyed to her again and turned away, went farther to the room straight to Ty Lee who was waving to her and smiling, cheering as always. Mai noticed sir Long Feng circling around duke Piandao, and this obnoxious oaf lord Zhao who dared to show himself after the scandal.

Ty Lee, joyful and charming in her pink muslin dress grabbed Mai’s hands. “Oh Mai, it’s so nice to see you here! Finally, you’ll have some fun!”

Mai sighed patiently. “You know I’m here not for fun, Ty Lee. The foreign policy is as important as internal policy. If everything goes right tonight, we have powerful allies from other kingdoms. And the king needs it… certainly, when his own nation doesn’t support him at all,” she muttered sharply, searching for the top of his royal head in the dancing crowd.

“Oh, Mai,” Ty Lee pouted. “Don’t be so serious, the night is so splendid! Do you see that gentleman in fancy blue robes? That’s ambassador Sokka from South, he’s here with his younger sister, Lady Katara. Her dress is gorgeous, she has such an eye for fashion! And is it just me or is he kind of cute?”

Mai nodded uncertainly at her friend’s speech, finally she found the king and relaxed a little bit, feeling the usual bittersweet sting in her heart, then looked away. “Hold a minute. Are they really from the South? Maybe we can arrange the negotiation about trade ways from…”

“Mai, please!” Ty Lee exclaimed.

“Sorry, Ty Lee. Please go on.”

“I’ve heard that ambassador Sokka engaged with princess Yue, but as I have seen tonight, he seems genuinely interested in lady Suki from Kyoshi Islands,” Ty Lee whispered conspiratorially. “Did you see those ladies? They’re looking so feminine, but strong, we definitely need their fashion at our court because ours is completely outmode! And that handsome gentleman with moustaches, that’s lord Haru, he’s very influential at the king’s Kuei court. He glanced at me a few times so I hope he’ll invite me to dance with him!” Ty Lee was chirping excitedly, then she slightly frowned. “But he also glanced at lady Katara, though she had danced only with ambassador Aang. They looked so adorable together, don’t you think?”

Mai hummed in response, watching intently at Azula and Long Feng. Ty Lee continued to bubbly gossiping. “If lord Haru would prefer to dance with lady Katara I’ll accept the lord’s Chan invitation. Or sir’s Ruon-Jian, I haven’t decided yet because they were so confident in themselves. Was it wise to refuse their invitations at the beginning?”

“Of course, Ty Lee,” Mai assured her, gently squeezing her shoulder. “They are just fools, and you deserve much better.”

Ty Lee smiled, and Mai allowed a thin small smile as well when to her utter horror she heard a familiar raspy voice.

“Lady Ty Lee!” king Zuko called from behind. “Have you seen Lady Ma-Mai?” He stuttered, then swallowed, stopping in front of them staring at her with all eyes. “Lady M, you… you’re here.” His always so confident voice trembled, she couldn't help but think that was lovely. Oh, traitorous thoughts!

Mai curtseyed, flushing a little. Sure, she has noticed how amazed and lovesick his gaze became in no time. “I’m here, Your Majesty. Any issues?”

“Emm… no, not exactly. How do you find the evening, Lady M?”

“Very pleasant, Sir. Flowers are beautiful, and music is very delightful indeed,” Mai replied politely, ignoring Ty Lee’s sly grin.

“Oh, I’m glad,” he replied, looking deep into her eyes, as if he is going to drown in them. “A-are you dancing, Lady M?”

Mai wanted to say her usual firmly “no” when Ty Lee interrupted. “Should they play a waltz, you must dance with Lady Mai, Your Majesty. That’s her favourite dance!”

“Really?” Zuko sounded surprised. “Then I’d be the most honoured if you dance with me, Lady M.” The king smiled and this smile twinkled his eyes with pure joy. He looked behind them and frowned. “Forgive me, ladies. I promised the dance to Lady Bei Fong.”

As soon as he moved away, Mai turned her indignant gaze to Ty Lee and hissed sharply. “What are you doing?”

Ty Lee shook her head in disbelief, immediately got serious, and even more mature. “Don’t be ridiculous, Mai! Have you seen all those women? What do you think they are all trying to do? Seduce him, evidently. You know very well how it's happening — they lower eyes, then look at him quickly and then hide behind a little fan not meeting his ‘beautiful’ gaze again.”

“And if he’s a fool enough, he’s captured until the end of the night.” Mai added reluctantly.

“Precisely! And despite all their attempts he’s looking only at you.”

“Ty Lee, please.”

“No, Mai!” She argued stubbornly. “He’s staring at you like… like…I even cannot describe! Now you’re surely acting silly! And don’t you dare to think that you might let him go, and miss a chance for happiness. When you have the king’s attention… If I’d had…”

“You could try,” Mai said dryly.

“Oh, Mai, dear. You know I wish no harm to you,” Ty Lee sounded almost apologetically.

Mai softened a little. “I know, Ty Lee. And I appreciate your good intentions. But you forgot that I’m a disreputable widow with a piece of ice instead of heart. Nor a princess, nor a daughter of an emperor, not exactly an eligible match for the monarch. And he’s the king, he has a duty for his country. Royal marriage demands important things, not just silly affection.”

“And nonetheless he’s staring only at you,” Ty Lee pointed. “Think about it.”

Did Ty Lee imagine that Mai never thought about it? That she'd never dreamed about him in her cold lonely estate or at noisy parliament sessions? Never caught his radiant gaze and didn't feel longing, or hope, or something more than she desired to admit, burning inside her more and more after every meeting, every gaze, every little touch of his fingertips to hers?

“He will have to marry one day, Mai.”

“Yes, he will.” Mai replied with a sad smile, watching him dancing in the centre of the ballroom. “I just hope his wife will appreciate him. Will love him… honour him… cherish him.”

Mai imagined for a moment how she could hold him in the tight embrace, kisses his temple when he is worrying about public address and gently strokes his dark locks; how she could call him by his name in the dead of the night, just simply 'Zuko' without stupid titles and ranks, when he kisses her neck and burns her up with his unrestrained fire; how she could belong to him entirely and endlessly, filling her grey, extremely cold life with his warming light. She came back to reality with a pained soul, cutting her mindless dreams by herself. “Well, enough about boring stuff. Excuse me, Ty Lee. I have to talk with viscount Jeong Jeong, the vote is very close.”

Ty Lee sent her encouraging smile and flew away to guests from Kyoshi islands.

“Ozai’s son!” viscount Jeong Jeong hemmed contemptuously. “Why on earth would I support Ozai’s son?”

“Maybe because he’s not only Ozai’s son, but also Iroh’s nephew, honourable lord.” Lady Mai aimed right into the target.

The duke Piandao was more kind. “Mai, Mai,” he sighed heavily. “You’ll just bury yourself alive among those hyenas.”

“Someone has to, your grace.” She replied calmly, watching how Ty Lee was circling around the room with foreign gentleman — the moustaches one.

Lady Mai had a very efficient conversation with ambassador Aang, then with ambassadors from Kyoshi islands, she even managed to convince viscount to return to the House. Deciding that all the important matters were settled, she intended to quietly disappear from the ball when His Majesty the King intercepted her.

“A waltz,” Zuko commented shyly. “May I have the honour?”

“Sir, there are so many partners here.” She protested weakly.

“Please, my lady. I insist.” He whispered fervently, holding her hands as fragile porcelain.

Mai hesitated; she hasn’t danced for three long years and intended won’t do it furthermore, but his eyes was so imploring — deep down in them were more than just desire to spend a pleasant time, there were his lonely, and vulnerability, faith that he’s not worthy, doesn’t deserve to be the superior person of the entire nation who wears royal regalia and crown on his head. She simply cannot resist, so she took his offer and let him lead her to the centre of the room.

A few moments after Mai found out that she can’t breathe properly whether from corsage, or king Zuko’s warm hand on her waist.

“You dance so well, Lady M.” She has heard his awed quiet voice above her. “I wish I could dance with you every night.”

Mai didn’t reply, staring at his cravat, refusing to look in his golden eyes.

“Lady M.” He was addressing her uselessly. “Lady M, have I offended you somehow?”

“No, Sir.”

“Then look at me, please. I was waiting all night to have a chance to dance with you,” he said desperately. She obeyed and looked up at him, losing herself completely in his soft gaze while he firmly held her and whirl.

“I thought perhaps you were cross with me.” Zuko whispered sadly.

Mai was surprised. “You? Never.”

“Then why’d you treated me like a stranger?”

Mai cast her gaze to the side instinctively. _Because of you_ , she thought bitterly, breathing his musk scent. _Because of your stupid eyes, and your stupid smile, and your stupid compliments which flatter me like silly school girl._

Zuko tensed and squeezed her hand more solidly but yet gently. “Please, Lady Mai. I cannot bear it if you hate me.”

“I don’t hate you!” Perhaps she answered too quickly than etiquette dictates. “I don’t hate you,” Mai admitted quietly, taking off her mask and giving up entirely; perhaps she sounded too tender than she could allow herself either.

“I don’t hate you too,” he breathed lightly with glint in his impossible eyes.

Her heart was beating fast, too fast as if it wanted to break through her chest. And in that very minute Mai felt alive more than she has felt throughout her life. As if he — this silly hot-headed boy, this powerful young man — had placed a small sun inside her frozen heart, which was warming her and melting the ice in her veins.

“Fire lilies?” The king asked, finally paying attention to something besides her face.

“Yes, Sir.”

“Nothing can compare your beauty, Lady M, but they are close,” he complimented her casually.

“You flatter me, Your Majesty,” Mai murmured in response.

The music faded suddenly, breaking up in the middle the new charming feeling inside them both. They stopped dancing and Mai felt right away how the envious glances of frustrated ladies were boring the back of her head. She took a step back. “Your Majesty!”

King Zuko gently held her palm, and then not paying any attention to the prying crowd he leaned and kissed her hand in glove. “Thank you for the honour.” He rasped, not avoiding her gaze and Mai’s heart crushed to the pieces. She curtseyed gracefully and hastened to leave the room.

*******

Returning to the home was a relief; Mai hoped she could escape from thoughts in her head. She was tired, perhaps more tired than should have been a woman of her age. So tired of governing, whispers and inappropriate feelings. A maid helped her to change and when she reached for flowers in her hair, Mai stopped her. “Thank you, that’s all for tonight.” 

Mai was sitting in her dark bedroom alone, looking at the pale reflection in her mirror and taking out one by one lilies from black locks. She was still young, Mai decided, and maybe even pretty enough. So why was she so devastated and hollow?

Her husband’s portraits were all over the house, the reminder of power and noble-mien. But on her dresser was a small — special — picture.

“You know I miss you,” she sighed, looking at his handsome features. “But I don’t understand why even when you’re gone, you still rule me. Will you ever let me go?” A tiny tear dropped on her cheek, then another. “Why can’t I breathe? Why did you do it to me?”

A portrait was still silent, so was the estate. And only Lady Prime Minister, an Ice Lady without a heart, cold, gloomy Mai was sobbing in the dark, teared apart from pain.

**Author's Note:**

> if you like it please drop kudos and comment <3
> 
> if you're a maiko fan you can find me on tumblr: @flameohotfamily


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